All things must pass. As an old man I wanted to take one last trip around Ireland and my pushers got me back safely to Galway. This whole affair has rekindled my faith in human nature. There is still as much a sense of community and humanity in this country as there ever was.
I’ve lost track of the random acts of kindness. Everyone who helped me is listed somewhere on this website. All bar one. It takes a different class of madman to make a foolish idea work and Padraic certainly made this one happen.
Above all, my most memorable times were spent with all my new Down Syndrome friends. Forty days ago, like most people, I saw disability; now all I see is astonishing ability.
Thank you for everything and the wonderful memories.
Here’s how I see birthdays. If you stop having them you have a problem. So I’m not shy to admit that it was 70 years ago yesterday that I was pushed off the production line.
And Kilfenora was where I chose to spend the day. I was pushed there by a team from the Clare Leader and the town declared a national holiday. They also recreated my BAFTA winning performance being driven around a roundabout by that nice little Father Dougal.
Huge arse party followed and they even flew in a Welsh Elvis to sing to me. I had a nice rest in Kinvara last night and now I’m looking forward to my big day today when I enter Galway like Caesar. Come along to Eyre Square for about 4pm and say hello.
Have to confess I’ve always had a soft spot for Clare and I’m having a fine old craic in the music county. Woke up in Ennis with a bit of a rugby induced hangover, sleeping next to five men in tartan skirts. Not a problem as the weather was great and I had a splendid team of pushers from HP along with me driver, Ciara.
We were a bit late getting to Miltown Malbay after a bit of a long pit stop in Biddy Early’s…well worth it mind you!
Sparrow fart start the next day but made palatable as I was being pushed by 39 schoolgirls from Scoil Mhuire. Me and driver Sean got to Ennistimon by lunchtime. It was like coming home but more of that tomorrow. Off to a Chinese
reception now – don’t ask!
I’ve been invited to something called the Electric Picnic. I was all set for a quiet little push up from Tipp to Limerick when someone called Joe turns up with a team of young fellas playing loud music. Should have realised something was not right as one was dressed as a gorilla and started giving bananas away to passing cars.
Anyway, they turned out to be a sound bunch and Joe invited me back me to his nightclub - feckin massive place called the Trinity Rooms. Now I’ve always fancied meself as one of these DJs – like that Wogan chap. Turns out everyone liked me tunes and that’s why I’m going to this picnic next summer. The whole day’s up on that internet malarkey – check it out as they say.
Had a spot of breakfast with the Rose of Tralee – lovely girl – and it was off up the road towards Bunratty being pushed by a bunch of bankers from the Bank of Scotland Ireland. (No, I didn’t understand it either). Little Gerry Ryan called me to see how I was, or so he said. I think he’s afraid I’m after his job. Had a lovely night in the Folk museum who said I can go and live there whenever I want.
Then it was onto Ennis with another bunch of pushers from United Drug who got me there in time for the Rugby. Hey Paddy, what price the Triple Crown?
I’ve been mooching around Tipperary for a few days and I tell ya no finer place to mooch. Between a few rounds of golf and being covered in seaweed at something called a Sentosa Spa Hotel I managed to pay visits to ColaisteJosephSchool in Killmallock, where the kids from Holy Family Special Needs school in Charville came down, and a fabulous set up in Tipp called Moorehaven. The place gives loads of people with learning needs a stepping stone into work.
It was also nice of young John Delaney to come down to the country and thank me for making your Italian chap an offer he couldn’t refuse. Poor John has taken some serious stick in recent times, but everytime I bump into him I call him the “Milk man” because like Pat Mustard he always delivers!
Me pal Alan and a bunch of his hairy arsed truck driver mates pushed me non-stop from Mitchelstown to Fermoy.
Alan took me out for a few jars that night and let me kip in his drive. Niall McCarthy turned up in the morning to thank me for resolving the Hurling row and then it was down to a team of students from UCC to push me into Cork.
Now I have to say I’ve always found students to be a lazy bunch of gobshites but whatever this lot are on it’s working. They got me up to 26kph. I haven’t been that fast since we had a decent football manager!
To thank them I took the college lads along to the Paddy Power Lovely Girl’s contest. It was hosted by that little shit Father Damo, who I have to say has turned into a better class of person since he gave up the cloth and took a real job.
Had a fine old time dishing out hand made Valentine chocolates to all my admirers. A gang from FAS in Waterford pushed me from Kilkenny to Clonmel then the next day a bunch of Tipp Institute students took me onto Mitchelstown.
Now I’d only been in the rebel county for a few minutes before I was asked to resolve some punch up between the Hurlers and their Committee.
I locked them in a room and told them to cop themselves on, Binding arbitration, my arse.
If they couldn’t play nicely they wouldn’t be let out after tea. Seems to have done the trick.
It was tough to get out of bed this morning I can tell ya with the hangover and the hoards of cards that arrived for me!
Those United Drug pushers were here at the crack of dawn yesterday and they’d brought a wee lad called Billy down from Dublin. Jesus that kid has more energy than I’ve ever seen.
We stopped off for some radio interviews at KCLR and I do believe that Ashlin, the newsreader, took a shine to me. Had great old reception going through Kilkenny and the drug pushers treated me to dinner.
Then it was off for a few nightcaps in Lannigan’s. PJ and Liam (dangerous men to go drinking with) had found a fine old rockabilly band for me and at midnight young Billy was still jiving up on the stage.
I think I may have to phone them united drug people to get me started this morning – I’ve got their number on speed dial!
Phwoar…it’s hard to keep up with all this bloggin’. I’m a busy MilkFloat ye know! An update from Wednesday: I was treated to a fine B&B at the Osprey hotel in Naas. Bit of a turnaround since the night they threw me out of the bar after a long day at Punchestown!
Turned out when we looked at the map there was a bit of a problem. It’s a feckin long way to Carlow and I only had a dozen or so pushers from Faulkners accountants.
A quick phone call to the Curragh barracks and half an hour later a team of Ireland’s finest turned up. ‘I don’t know what I’ve been told’ ……The bloody chanting’s still ringing in me ears!
Well folks , as I approach the autumn of my trip I can feel the tears stinging me wheels….my pals put together a video of my journey so far, and I have to say I was very moved by all the support.
It’s only when I look back that I actually see just how much lovely people are out there willing to lend a hand.
Only fifteen days left ’til we reach Galway again and seein’ that video has put a spring in my step. I’m gonna step it up a gear and do it for Down Syndrome Ireland!
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